Friends...

Who is a best friend?I haven't had one since high school, and now I often wonder if those I thought were friends ever really were at all.I have few *real* friends, people I can tell anything and know that it is in confidence without saying so - you know, like at school "don't tell anyone that I said this..."I often wonder who I can trust, girls are SO bitchy and gossipy just in general, I so often find myself wondering if you are really my friend or if you just want something to talk to your other *friends* about.I was talking to T about this just yesterday, one of the girls we work with - well, her boyfriend broke up with her to go out with a guy - they are only 17 so she was pretty devastated and all. How would she feel if she knew her *BEST* friend (who also works with us) told everyone at work all about it!?Then there are those who say they tell you everything, yet you know they don't. Is that the worst kind of lie? The "I know I can trust you with every detail of my life, and I say that I tell you everything yet you know that I don't? lie?What a horrible feelingIhungerforrealfemalefriendships.....

*Happy* Birthday

Today was Liam and David's birthday.Should've been a good day, of course Liam is only 4 so he doesn't notice I guess.How would you feel if your sister was in town from interstate and couldn't even bring herself to come in to the house and say happy birthday to you? Let alone go out for dinner as planned earlier? NO, why the hell would you want to sort out your differences with your brother?! Let alone the brother who has cared for your daughter like his own for many years... Why would you even want to give him a chance to explain himself? Why would you want to bother with asking HIM his side of the story instead of believing a one sided affair?Your sister who lives close by has to be out of town, but at least she calls.And if at the same time your brother and sister in law who had also been invited to dinner couldn't even be bothered to ring and say "oh sorry we can't make it", let alone call to say happy birthday in the first place?And if, on the very same birthday, your niece, who you've loved like a daughter doesn't come out to dinner with you either?I'd say fairly disappointed.SHIT - I WISH my family was like that!!! *dripping sarcasm*Birthday's suck like that - once they're ruined they stay in your mind as a ruined birthday forever, you can't take them back and start over.Happy Birthday...

Thank you

I got this email from a friend todayWith everything that is happening in America at the moment, I am feeling very shaken up and scared. I have been thinking a lot and I just wanted to take this opportunity to tell you all how much I love you and how important you all are to me. You have all done so much for me and I am so grateful for your friendships.I love you all,BelindaIt is a pity that it takes such tragedy for us to become more open in expressing our love for one another outside of close one on one relationships, but I am thankful for the love of my friend.I am thankful that should a world war occur as a result of these incidents that my fiance would not be called up as he is *too old*, that my sons (mine and his) are too young to be called up (at ages 4 and 14) and that my brother would also be spared as he is medically unfit at the moment (awaiting knee surgery).I am thankful that my children are too young to understand this terrible trauma, that I do not have to try to explain to them what causes people to commit such heinous acts against their fellow men, that they do not have to feel the pain that is reverberating around the world.I am thankful for my family, though we may be separated, we are all safe and well.David, Liam, Rhiannan, Kellie, Peter and Sarah, my family, my love, my life...

Respect...Honesty

My self-respect begets respect from othersI walk the walk, talk the talkI attract similar people who are self-respectfulPeople appreciate me for what I amI am assertive with humilityI ooze self-respectIs it possible to respect someone who has no respect for themselves?Is it possible for someone who has no respect for themselves to respect someone else?Honesty is staying aware to the truth of the matter. To admit, accept, and respond to the truth of what is. Self-honesty is about being honest with yourself - being objective and rational.What is the point of hiding from the truth? Avoiding hurt in the short term and letting the real pain keep building up for as long as you can keep pushing it aside?

Just a Piece of Paper?

How do you explain to someone that getting married is not *just a piece of paper*?!I used to think like that too, but I'd much prefer to be married than to be just living my life in what feels like a relationship of convenience.I've said many times that it is important to me that we get married, I don't want anything grand, just a wedding in the celebrant's garden followed by dinner with friends would be nice, but somehow we can never seem to be able to *afford* it. It is never enough of a priority to be able to actually DO it.All around me people are getting married, five and a half years ago we got engaged with intentions of being married within 6 months, five years later its still not planned, not even so much as a firm date set.Is it really just a piece of paper? I think that that piece of paper is really so much more, it represents a state of mind, a lifelong (or longer) commitment; not just a *this is good for the moment* commitment...How do you explain that to a fella!?

Fault...Blame... Who's is it?!

Is it my fault if someone cannot make life choices and stick to them?Is it my fault if someone cannot make arrangements and stick to them? Knowing that to change them could change the whole situation?Is it my fault if someone cannot align her priorities with her life choices?If someone chooses to have children, don't they choose at that very moment to put those children first!? Before anyone else, until those children need them no more? Is it my fault if someone chooses not to put her child first? Her child who I have loved and cared for for many years?Is it my fault?Am I to blame?Are you?Maybe you're angry at the wrong people...

The responsibility is yours

In order to solve any problem, you must first accept responsibility for it. As long as you consider it to be someone else's fault, for example, that you're not being paid what you're worth in your job, then you'll continue not to be paid what you're worth.Perhaps someone else is to blame, but that's totally beside the point. Avoiding the problem or reassuring yourself that someone else is to blame will only make it worse. The eventual pain of avoiding the problem will likely be worse than the problem itself. So go ahead and commit yourself to doing something about it. If it's your problem, it's your responsibility.Once you take responsibility you also take control. Once you take responsibility, you stop wasting time on meaningless complaints and excuses. Do you truly want the problem to be solved? Then step up and take responsibility for it.Which would you rather do -- suffer, and blame someone else for it, or turn your problems into opportunities? The choice is yours. The responsibility is yours. Accept it and move positively ahead.--Ralph Marston Great DayI choose to take responsibility for my life, no one can make my decisions for me, no one can change my fate if I choose not to let them.I decide my destiny, shape my own path.What I cannot alter I will not worry over; anymore.